Funny Things that Noa has said lately

Noa (after kissing me to wake up) - "Mom, you sleep well?"

Me- "Yes I did!"

Noa- "Mom, you want eggs?"

Me- " Sure!"

Noa- " How about peanut butter??!!!"

Then he whipped out a big jar of peanut butter and put it on my bed.

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njnccgyyiiuu <------ Noas contribution

Noa threw his Happy meal on the car floor, he didn't want his fries, he only wanted to play with the toy. So I picked up the bag and I started munching on the fries (pretty soon the fries were gone.......) Suddenly, Noa says, "Mom, I want my fries." Me-"Im sorry buddy they're all gone. Let's go get more ok?" (I felt so bad.) Then the car fell quiet and from the carseat this little voice, very sternly said, " I'm going to spank you."

I just about crashed the car laughing~

I love this little boy

Gods Tender mercies

Let's just give today a name. POOPY! I didn't work within my healthy boundaries and as a result WHAMMM! I am not a happy camper. I should have gotten a babysitter, I should have said 'no' I should have left on time, I shouldn't have yelled. (Now my throat hurts) I should have filled up on gas before I was late, not when the car wouldn't start because I was ACTUALLY out of gas.

SHOULD SHOULD ShOuLd should!!

Up to speed on the day yet? Welp here's where Heavenly Father went..... Uhhhh Hilaree, It's not that bad.

Hilaree Cries because she didn't make it to class in time all because of a chain reaction at the beginning of the day. ( And who bore the brunt of the chain reaction most of the day?? NOA! ding-ding-ding!!)

Hilaree pulls into Barnes & Nobel. She knows she is on fumes. Literally and emotionally. Sits for a while. Cries, Because she read this from the self help book that she bought. Called,

"Ten Habits of Happy Mothers" By Meg Meeker, M.D.

YOU ARE MORE PRECIOUS THAN YOU KNOW

I know this because in my twenty-five years as a pediatrician, I have gotten a peek from behind your kids' eyes. I can see you as they see you. I have heard the excitement in their voices after you have praised them. I have seen your kids define you as their hero when you are in the other room. I have heard them cry over your hurt, laugh at your jokes, and pull their hair out because of your stubbornness. (Which by the way they appreciate) I have literally read the value that you hold in your kids lives, all over their faces and through their body language. When you walk into a room, your son changes immediately. He relaxes because you are there and life feels safe to him again. If you recently scolded him, he scours your face to see if your still mad, because he needs to know how you feel. YOU MATTER. Your mood changes his world a bit. If you are in a good mood, he can relax and play with his trucks. If you are upset with him, he wants to make up (he may not show it, but he does) because you are the center of his small world. He needs you to like him again. You. No one else. Because once you are happy with him, he can go about his business and life will feel good again. He can focus at school, get his homework done, and pay attention to his basketball game. That is the power that you have and that power comes from the fact that in this child's life-your child's life- who you are matters as much as life it's self. You are loved.

I want you to feel good about who you are as a mother because you should. That's another thing that I have learned about you as I have watched over the years. You need to feel good about the job that you are doing because, if you are like most American moms, you are far too critical of the job you are doing. I know this because I can see that being a great mom matters to you. You want to get it right and asses your performance daily. What you need to know id that you asses your performance far more critically than your kids do- they just want you. Kids don't care if your thin or plump, they don't care if you make brownies from scratch, from a box, or if you buy them. They just want to eat the brownies with you. Feeling good about your value to them is important because the better you feel, the better your relationship with them will be; and the happier both of you will be. Sounds simple, but understanding our value and then feeling good about the mothers that we are ( or maybe even saying it out loud!) is one of the toughest challenges we mothers face.

Here are the words that I so badly needed to hear. Im sobbing at this point, (good thing I was alone) and I feel so humbled. I'm not going to get it perfect every time. It's my seeing me through Noas' eyes that will make the changes. Dare I step back and humbly say, that when I picture me through Gods' eye, with all of his understanding, and unconditional love, that I truly am not a broken mother; but more of a growing mother?

Though I struggle, as it is not that easy to let myself off the hook. I do love the perspective.

As I am chewing on this new hope. I try to start my car, POOF! Will NOT start. Why?? Im out of gas!! Wahoo! I get to walk about a mile to get a gas can and gas. ( in sugar house!)

I start walking, soul still a little tender from crying and the dose of humility, not wanting it to get dark before I get back to my car. I very nice person pulls over to offer me a ride back to my car.

His name is 'Shorty' and he decided to pay it forward. He said that he loved to help, that he always tried to be in a happy mood 24/7 . ( I guess when your truly happy, and not focused on yourself, your a great person for God to choose to be his helping hands. )

In our short ride back to my car, Shorty reminded me that life isn't as hard as we view it. That its a beautiful gift. He helped me fill up my tank. Gave me 'Knuckles' and said, "goodbye." Probably never to be heard from again.

Not only did God remind me that my value as a mother is great, he also reminded me that it is HIS job to take care of the little things. (like finding 'shorty' to give me a ride back home)

I am so grateful to have had this experience today.

All my Love,

Hil

C.S. Lewis he is becoming very popular in everyday conversations as of late.

"It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."
— C.S. Lewis (Weight of Glory and Other Addresses)

Interesting .......

C.S. Lewis

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."

— C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)

April ' Happiness Project' the theme, LIGHTEN UP

It's APRIL!!!! SPRING IS IN THE AIR!!!! I Love this time of year everything smells so wonderful and the color is coming back to the sleepy grey world.

So, ready for the April Update? Welp, sorry, Im only going to give you the projects and then expound on them through out the month.

Here's the scoop-

* SING IN THE MORNING LA LA LA LA LA

*ACKNOWLEDGE THE REALITY OF PEOPLE'S FEELING'S (OOOOOHHHHH I HAVE LOTS TO SAY ON THIS ONE :D DON'T WORRY IT'S ALL GOOD STUFF )

* BE A TREASURE HOUSE OF HAPPY <------ (GOSH, I LOVE THIS WORD) MEMORIES!

* TAKE TIME FOR PROJECTS.

Ok, I really want to hear what ya'll have to say about this stuff.

You know I will have stuff to say.

Ok, start typing.

All my love,

Hil

WORK SMART

As past posts have described, I am trying to work smarter not harder. I have found when trying to work smarter you have to say the word "NO." kind of a lot.

In the past I have hated saying this word for many reasons. Fear of disappointment/hurting feelings/making people feel like I don't care about them/ (and my favorite) being a BAD friend. Which is something I was told when I was little and sadly took it to heart.

Here are the reasons I should say "NO."

By saying "NO" I am able to place healthy boundaries between work and home. (I.e. working past or before allotted time for appointments.)

By saying "no" I am exercising my free agency to choose what I will, and will not do with my time. Therefore respecting myself. In turn able to fully recharge, and be more capable of serving others.

By saying "No" I am not spread so thin that I take it out on those I love the most. ( Isn't it funny that we choose the ones that support us best to fall apart on?)

So here is my practice for saying "No" today.

Client calls

Client- Hilaree, Can I change my appointment to a morning appointment?

(I only work at night now.)

Me- No

" a lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." -Gma Shauna

The End!

Well, I was very diplomatic, but you get the gist.

Anyway my 2 cents for the day. Try saying 'NO' sometime, you might love it/hate it. Whatever, its good for you. I can see that it's good for me and that makes me 'Happy'

Love,

Hil

Wow THIS MONTH!!!

This is just a little update on how the 'Happiness Project" is going.

I find it interesting when you are trying your best, your best is tested. While I have reviewed the 'projects' of the month I have been hit with some really hard things that are testing my metal. Some of these things I didn't want to write about, but I realize that you will not see the full measure of the good without the bad. Don't worry this will not be a depressing post. :)

This month I am supposed to live in the moment. I tend to be 15 minutes ahead of myself AT ALL TIMES. So I have tried to recognize moments and capture them in my mind, every color, sound, texture and emotion. So far it has worked pretty well, especially with Noa and Jarom. Here is where my metal was tested............

Once upon a time, there was a mommy with a sleeping baby in the carriage. The mommy knew that the baby boy would be waking soon; so she bought the kiddo a kids meal from ye, yucky wendy's. The baby boy was sleeping and so mommy thought that maybe since she was right by 'dear lizzy' she would run in and grab some soap. real quick.... ( mom's, most of you know where this is going) the mommy left her little snuggle in the carriage and parked in a way so that she could see him. Ran into 'dear lizzy' and ran out. ( Yes, I know I shouldn't have done this. and trust me after this episode, it wont happen again.) When the mommy got back out to the carriage 5 minutes later, there was a kindly woman disguised as a wicked witch who took the liberty of telling the mommy that she was going to call the kings horseman on her and that she was a horrible mother for leaving her little boy in the carriage. The mommy told the kindly woman disguised as a wicked witch that it was " non of her affair" jumped in the carriage and cried all the way back to the castle of Garlick. (everyone knows my house as the 'Garlicks' house.)

The mommy thought that she really was a horrible mommy and that soon the kings horseman would soon come to behead her. But never fear the kindly woman disguised as a wicked witch was full of hot air and peppers, and the kings horseman never did arrive.

The moral of my story is this. Yes, mommy makes mistakes, and yes, sometimes REALLY BIG ONES. But the thing that makes this mommy a good/great mommy is that she is willing to learn and grow. She recognized that she was wrong and now she really does appreciate the kindly woman disguised as a WICKED WITCH. The end.

Story # 2

I am struggling with the decision to dissolve my business altogether or expand.... Unfortunately, when one leaves a place of business sometimes there can be hurt feelings or just immaturity. Even if your ex- boss is in her 40's. Long story short facebook has a way of showing you who people really are. (so be careful what you post) :) I was called A B@#$% and someone threatened to punch me or implied that I should be punched. All because I requested that facebook remove my pictures from that salons page. It was not meant out of anger or hatred. It was merely the next step to have my pictures removed as other efforts didn't work. The main reason I left was to expand and later found that nice things were not being said about me. Some times it is hard to grow because people like things the way that they are/feel intimidated/don't want you to succeed etc. The lesson from this experience is this, I will continue to grow and succeed no matter what I do. Because it is in me. It's in all of us. We have greatness instilled within us. it reminds me of a quote my mom has on her bathroom wall :)

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” (a very inspired woman) Marianne Williamson

Today is the start of the rest of my life and I will let my light shine, my goal/promise is that I will let your light shine too :) we can be bright together, therefore being 'Happier' together mmmmmk!

Love,

Hilaree